It only takes one to love

I was driving down Poplar Ave. today and started thinking about these heavy set women I saw at Cacique-Lane Bryant's intimates store-earlier today.  Well, they were very unkempt and looked as if they dressed themselves haphazardly.  Now I'm not afraid to say that I am every bit of 226 lbs, a little embarrassed, but not afraid.  I could not imagine being unhappy with my weight enough to stop dressing like I am apart of a civilized society.  I love color, clothes, SHOES, a lot of accessories, SHOES, makeup, and if I haven't mentioned it, SHOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I have an over abundance of all of these things and they make me very happy.  Now that's not to say I can't be happy without them, but when I have a passion for something and I am allowed to be surrounded by it, I am completely happy.  Which raises the question: Would you think the person that looks very sloppy doesn't love themselves, or the person who has is all together from head to toe?

My mother always fusses about the way I dress and the fact that I HAVE to have all of these material things because I don't love myself.  I am a firm believer in self love, and I think if you're not careful you can mistake love and happiness for a content owner of "stuff".  I used to be this person, a long time ago.  It all started in high school when I didn't have the clothes everyone else had and I never learned to be happy with what I have and be comfortable with me with or without the material things.  The funny part of it now is that I had Neiman Marcus outfits in my closet that cost more than a whole weeks worth of their clothes, but because I didn't look like them, it didn't matter.  I regret I ever thought I had to be like anyone to be accepted.  I find myself doing everything BUT what everyone else is doing and I love every minute of it.  It took me a while to learn that I didn't need things to make me happy.  I spent a lot of time trying to make sure I never looked anything less than spectacular everyday, that is, until I couldn't.  I was in school and couldn't work full-time and I couldn't shop, I was in a very bad place.  It lead me to acceptance of ME and I learned to be happy with who I was and then with who I wasn't.  I never realized the importance of knowing and loving the person you aren't as well as who you are.  I am not a millionaire, I am not a wife, I am not a morning person (I accepted this a long time ago LOL!!).  Not being these things means I have something to look forward to in life.  I am not a cheater, I am not a liar, I am not a backstabber.  Not being these things means I have integrity.  I could go on, but I'm sure you get the point.

I have come a mighty long way in terms of self love and self respect.  I don't feel I need a man to complete me or validate me as a person.  I don't allow people to disrespect me because I feel I don't deserve it.  At the same time, I don't feel I need anyone's respect in order for me to respect myself.  I preach to any young lady I come in contact with about self love and self respect.  With both of those, you can never go wrong.  You will never have to worry about others if you just focus on self. Nobody can take care of you better than you (C.Y.O.A. cover your own a**).

Exceptionally Yours........